Sons and Daughters
by ladyjane666
Summary: Becks has always been the black sheep of the Morrow family. Now that she's back in Charming dark secrets she had hope to leave behind in Boston come back to haunt her. Her relationships with everyone she loves starts to come undone. Jax/Tara/OC & Jax/OC
1. Chapter one: Becks

Sons and Daughters

A/N: I have been obsessed with SOA quietly for some time, have been playing around with the idea of writing a story based around the characters. So here it goes. It will obviously end up being AU, but somehow I hope to keep with the overall plot of the show to the best of my abilities(IE – Major plot points like what is going on in Season 3 will still be there). I do not own any of the characters from SOA or the plot line of the show. I own my OCs and that's about that. A note about the way I am writing this story. I personally like writing first person as I have done a lot of theater and find it a great way to get inside the characters head. So I'm going to be doing this in first person perspective in either Becks (my OC) or Jax's POV and they will be marked. I personally think the most compelling conflicts are often the internal conflicts with in a person.

Also you will notice that Jax has a lot going on in his head… when I write him it tends to go more into what he is thinking, how is brain is processing the events that are going on. I made that choice because MY impression of Jax is he is just that type person. Also I tend to write long chapter, I like detail in my stories, if you happen to read my other stories you will see that. That does mean updates may take longer (may not) but I promise they will be worth it.

I am really looking forward to writing it like this and I hope you enjoy reading this. So now it's my time to shut up and get on with the story.

The story begins sometime between season 1 & 2

Summery : Family, it is the most important thing to the Sons. What happens when Clay's daughter gets into some trouble with drugs and ends up running home to Charming with her tail between her legs. Will she just be able to fall back into the life or will her past come creeping back to haunt her.

Chapter one : Becks

_Daddy,_

_Um…hi. I know it's been a while since I bothered to send you so much as an e-mail, but I guess I just got caught up in the craziness of Boston. I miss you… I miss you a lot. I miss Gemma too, she's the closest thing to a mother… no she is my mom for all intensive purposes. When mom left I blamed her, I blamed you too and I'm sorry. I know I was not the best daughter and I disgraced the club… but I wanna come home to Charming. Boston has caused me nothing but trouble and I'm in some pretty deep shit dad. _

_I thought by going to Boston and living with mom that I would be happier, but I'm not. I don't want to get into why… I just want to know that if I come home I won't be on the streets. I don't expect things to be like they used to be but I just want to be back with my family._

_Love,_

_Becks_

++++ Becks POV +++++

I sat there rereading the e-mail at least twenty times before I actually sent it. Talking to my father is never an easy task, least of all when it comes to asking for his forgiveness. Clay Morrow is not a forgiving man, well I guess he can be… but I'm his daughter and I get held to a different standard than the rest of them. I was supposed to be the perfect daughter, most of all after dad took over the position as President of the Sons. But low and behold I had to rebel. I had to do so many stupid things and now… here I am begging for forgiveness by e-mail as I'm sitting at a bus stop already on my way back to Charming with or without his blessing.

Boston has just become too dangerous for me. I can't bring myself to tell him I got myself hooked on pills. He would kill me if he knew I went down the same path as my mom. Considering the whole reason I moved across the country after High School was to be with her and help her get clean. The last words he spoke to me were if I left.. he never wanted to see me again. It broke my heart. I love my dad, truly I do. I just hope he will find it in his heart to forgive my transgression.

Sighing heavily, I shut down my laptop and shoved it back into my backpack, contemplating what to do if my dad won't let me back in the house. I know that if it was up to Gemma she would just let by gones be by gones but dad… well dad is dad. Looking through my phone seeing who else in Charming I could contact in case things went south with dad.

The list was rather short, Juice… who I had a bit of thing for back in high school. Something tells me that would just end up with me flat on my back with my legs over my head. Tig… again… something tells me he would less that keen about getting on my dad's bad side and probably I would end up with my legs over my head again. What about…. Jax. My would be stepbrother. Though… I can't really look at him like brother. I'll be honest, since it's just me in my own head here… I've always kind of well been in love with him since I was like 10 years old. But he was the one person who understood why I left and still talked to me at least once a month to make sure I hadn't ended up in a ditch.

Smiling softly to myself and hit the green send button and put my cell up to my ear. My heart raced waiting for him to pick up the phone. Then…. Click… "Hello…" Jax answered. The smile playing on my lips grew wider hearing the sound of his voice.

"Oh hi…" I said weakly wondering if he would recognize my voice. I heard him chuckle, that impish little laugh of his always reminds me over better times… happy times.

"Oh hi to you too Becks. So what's up… aren't I the one that usually calls randomly to make sure you are still breathing? Are you ok?" Shifting in the uncomfortable bus seat and glanced out the window and let out a heavy sigh. I could just picture Jax standing there with his arms half crossed with this look on his face.. this 'what do I have to fix now' look he always gave me when I would run to him when dad and I got into a fight. "Spill…"

I let out another heavy sigh and balled the sleeve on my sweat shirt in my hand. "I'm on a bus… on my way back to Charming…"

Before I even had a chance to finish my sentence. "What time is your bus getting in? I'll come get you…" I smiled again, typical Jax… my night on shining Harley…. Always.

"Around 11 tonight… " Jax chuckled and I could almost picture him smiling as he held on the phone.

"Leave it to you Becks to leave everything to last second." I let out a small laugh of my own and nodded my head instinctively. "You know I'll be there…. Does Clay know you are coming back?" The change in his voice when he asked me if my dad knew if was coming home was drastic. In a split second he went from his normally cheeky self to suddenly the protector he's always been for me. It kinda made my heart sink hearing it again. I thought now that he was with Tara that he wouldn't be my knight on shinny Harley any more… but I thought wrong.

Biting my bottom lip which I know he probably was picturing me doing in the long and awkward pause while I was contemplating my response. "Yes and no…" I said softly.

"What do you mean 'yes and no' either he does or doesn't Becks…." Glancing out the window I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Jax was right, there was no middle ground, either dad knew I was on my way back or not. In actuality he didn't have a clue I was on a bus only six hours away from my home… away from where my heart had been for the last six years.

Resting my head against the window, looking down at my feet I answered Jax softly. "Well… not technically, but I sent him an e-mail letting him know I wanted to come home… like an hour ago." Closing my eyes I could picture Jax closing his eyes and bring his free hand up to his temple and rubbing it. I knew that my father not knowing I was on my way home was going to complicate things quite a bit for Jax and put him an awkward position. In my heart though I know Jax would still stand by me… I'm his Becks… he loves me. (In what way I'm not sure)

I could hear Jax starting to pace back and forth. This made me nervous but I took another deep breath to relax myself because I know… I know in the end it will all be ok. "Alright…" Jax said after a long pause. "I'll come get you tonight, you'll stay with me but we gotta figure out away to tell Clay and Gemma that your back… but if we do this you gotta help me Becka.." I smiled softly, he hadn't called me Becka in years, most everyone always called me Becks… now that I think about I think Jax is the only person who calls me Becka.

"Whatever you need me to do Jax… I'll do it." I was trying not to sound too egger as I spoke but I think I totally lost that battle.

"Help me out with Abel, Tara had to leave town for a few weeks and well you know there are very few people I would trust with my son." He trusts me with Abel…. I brought my hand to my chest and bit my bottom lip to keep myself from saying anything all mushy like 'I love you Jax….' Or 'You trust me with Able… you really do love me…' Because something told me that would totally fuck everything up. "So you know… baby sit him when I'm gone. That would help me while I try and build this bridge between you and Clay…. I think if we can get Gemma on board first it will be a lot easier. Just trust me Becka."

Without even thinking for a second I said "I do trust you Jax… I know you would never do anything to hurt me….I love you…" As soon as those that three words came out of my mouth I wish I could just take them back… but what Jax responded with surprised me even more.

"I love you too… but I gotta go get Abel changed and ready to bed… I'm gonna have to take the truck so we can put your bags in the back… so look for it. I'll be there." I thought he was just gonna hang up but then he surprised me again. "I'm glad you're coming home… I've really missed you." Then before I had a chance to say anything…. CLICK… typical Jax.

I pulled my knees to my chest and smiled softly resting my head against my knees thinking 'At least I know Jax wants me home… ' I closed my eyes and drifted off in to a happy slumber hoping to pass the next six hours as quickly as possible.

+++ Jax's POV +++

Leave it to Rebecca Morrow to wait to the very last minute to tell everyone that she's coming home, then again it wouldn't be my Becks if she didn't do stupid things like that. It's part of her charm really. So instead of being at the club house with the rest of the boys on a Friday night I am sitting in my truck at the Greyhound bus stop twenty odd miles outside of Charming waiting to pick up the girl who I should consider my sister, but I just can't think of her like that. She's one of my best friends and if the world was different… if she hadn't left six years ago in all likely hood I would be with her not Tara. As much as I love Tara, and I do very much, there has always been this unexplainable attraction to Becks. I love her, when Tara left and before I married Wendy… Becks was there to listen to me, to remind me that life will go on. I can't lie… I wanted to be with her but then she felt she had some great purpose moving out to Boston and helping her mom get clean. Things would have been so different if she stayed… now she's back and I am already worried about if I'm going to be able to stop myself and keep things going with Tara.

I asked Neeta to come watch Abel so I had some time to get the truth out of Becks about why did she come home so suddenly. I know Becks better than she knows herself, that girl doesn't think about anything before she does it. She just goes and bulls through life, pushing people out of her life without even thinking. Like someone else I know all too well. As much as Becks may say she hates Clay… they are a lot alike. She is just as stubborn and stuck in her ways as he is… not to mention that girl has a dark side to her that very few people have seen.

I watched her put three grown men on the floor at 16 when they were touching her when she didn't want to be touched. They were nomads visiting and they knew she was Clay daughter but they just wouldn't listen when she said no. She laid them out on the floor right in the club house and it took Opie, Tig and I to get her off of them. She had to have only been about five foot two maybe 115 pounds but that girl was pissed and she's got a lot of anger she keeps bottled up inside of her, so it was not big shock that it took three men to get her off of those poor bastards. But.. that was the beginning of the end of her relationship with her father, she made Clay look like he couldn't control his own kid, so how the hell was he supposed to control the club, but I was proud of her… that girl takes shit from no one.

Which makes me wonder all the more why she is running back to Charming? Flipping open my cell I look at the time, 11:05, the bus should be getting here any second. Reaching over I open the driver side door and got out of the truck. Leaning again the side of it I hear the distinctive sound of the bus pulling up and suddenly I feel nervous. Why the hell am I nervous? I shake my head and run my hands through my hair.

Watching closely as a lone figure got off the bus, it had to be Becks… I smiled softly to myself. I missed her for some odd reason. Maybe because I remember the good times with her, the late nights telling stories about when we were kids and all the trouble I used to have to save her from… not that she really needed the saving… but none the less. I watched her grab her bags and drag them towards the truck but suddenly she dropped them and came running towards me.

"Jax!" She called making my heat skip a beat. Her long dark hair was pulled back into a pony tail and she was wearing these amazing jeans that hugged her curves in all the right places. She looked different from the last time I saw her, more like a grown woman and less like that punk teenager I remember so well.

Meeting her half away I wrapped my arms around her as she threw her arms around me. She was already in tears. "Oh my God Jax…. I… I…. missed you so much." I pushed her back slightly and whipped the rouge tears from her lightly tanned cheeks.

Leaning forward slightly I wanted to kiss her but I just smiled and kissed her forehead. "Hey… no tears." Pulling her back into a tight hug I started to have all these thoughts racing through my head. 'Can I fight the feelings I have for her to make things work with Tara?'… 'Would she make a better wife and mother than Tara considering she was raised in the club?' … 'Do I love her more than I love Tara?'

Despite all these thoughts racing through my head I could only look at was the look on her face. It was this mix of joy and utter fear. Holding her close to my chest, feeling her arms wrap tightly around my chest , I kissed the top of her head. "I missed you too Becka…" Looking down at her again, seeing the look on her face made me all the more desperate to find out the truth behind her sudden move home, but I made the decision that can wait till tomorrow. Running my hand down the back of her thick dark hair and moved my other hand under her chin, forcing her to look me straight in the eyes. "Lets go home… I want you to meet Abel…" I ran my hand down the side of cheek before walking to wear she dropped her bags.

She was getting into the cab of the truck by the time I had gotten back to the truck and threw her bags in bed of the truck. Looking into the cab before I got in I saw Becka sitting there, her jaw clenched, her hands twisting and her biting her bottom lip nervously. My first instinct seeing her do this was to think she looked just like Wendy when she needed a fix, but I know my Becks is too smart to get involved with drugs. So it had to be she was nervous and worried about how her father would react to her home coming. It had to be that.

Climbing back into the cab and pulling the keys out of my pocket I glanced over at Becks again. Despite the state she was in there was something about her that was just comforting to have her back. As I started the truck, I reached over and took one of her hands ,which were ice cold, and squeezed it. "I promise… nothing bad is gonna happen while I'm around… promise." The look on her face changed slightly and she moved closer to me. With out thinking I just put my arm around her shoulders as she hunkered in.

My mind was screaming this is wrong, I'm with Tara. She's technically me step-sister and we are not some back woods hillbillies but most of our lives we had no connection like that. She was always just Becks, Clay's kid. A fixture at dinners and holidays because her mom was too high to do much of anything in ways of sort of thing. I guess, now that I think about it, perhaps that why Wendy's drug use bothered me so… because I watched how having a drug addict mother almost ruined Becka. But back to my mind just screaming how this was just wrong yet, I didn't stop. It felt right… like this is the way it should have been.


	2. Chapter two: What could have been…

Sons and Daughters

A/N: I wanna thank everyone who reviewed and put this story on your alerts and even if you didn't and you are just reading this thank so much. I know I didn't mention this before but I do enjoy feedback and if you have any question about the story I will respond to you guys with answers the best that I can. Writing this brings me a great deal of joy and satisfaction and I hope reading this gives you guys the same feeling. Thank you… each and every one of you… for taking your time to read this.

Also the Trailer/Music video for this story will be up on my YouTube page in the coming weeks!

Chapter Two: What could have been…

+++ Becks POV +++

The ride back to Jax's place was quite, I was expecting him to ask me a million different questions about why I suddenly wanted to come home, but I'm not gonna act like I wasn't happy about him leaving it be… for now. It had been a long time since anyone just held me like the way Jax was. It is strange to think that one would miss something as simple as having another person's arm around their shoulder but when you haven't had so much as a hug in God knows how long, it feels better than anything in the world.

Being a drug addict is a lonely life. The only people I have had contact with in the last six months since my mom died were drug dealers and junkies. They aren't the most affectionate of people. I guess that's why before I even said hi to him… I ran to give Jax a hug. I wanted to feel his arms around me, it sounds like something from a bad romance novel but feeling his arms around me felt like I was finally home.

The whole ride home Jax would occasionally run his hand along my cheek and then smile at me in the rearview mirror. I scooted away from him a little as soon as we pulled into the drive way. He must have gotten it after him and Wendy got married, because it was a lot nicer than the shitty little apartment that I used to run to when my dad and I would fight. Once he threw the truck into park and I went to go grab my bags out of the back Jax finally spoke. "Let me get them alright…"

His little chivalrous gesture made me giggle. "I'm not gonna bitch about you taking my bags…" I stuck my hands into the oversized pocket on my hoodie and started to make my way to the door behind Jax. Before either of us had a chance to open the door a friendly faced older black woman opened it and immediately gave Jax a strange look.

Jax gave her a look back and continued into the house and fallowed in with my head down. I mumbled "where's the bathroom…" to Jax as he set my bags down by the couch and he silently pointed down the hall. I nodded and started to make my way down the hallway.

As I past what I could only assume was Abel's bedroom, even though I had to pee really bad I couldn't help myself, I ducked into the room and quietly made my way to where the little guy I had heard so much about was sleeping. As soon as I laid eyes on him, I was in love. Seeing this little mini version of Jax, sleeping so peacefully caused this flood of emotions to come over me, so much so I felt my legs start to shake. Staggering over to a near by rocking chair and slowly sitting down, I tried desperately not to cry.

My mind kept telling me 'If you hadn't left that could have been yours and Jax's baby…. Abel could be yours.' My hands were shaking as I brought them out of my hoodie to pick up a stuffed animal from the floor. It's true, I won't lie to myself and say that if I had stayed there wouldn't have been a slight possibility… more than slight in my opinion, that Jax would have married me not Wendy. It hurts knowing what Boston did to me that I gave up the chance of being Jax's wife… his Old Lady… his baby mama… just to go to Boston to help my druggy mother then watch her relapse and kill herself. I gave up what could have been a wonderful life for that.

Completely lost in thought, I didn't notice that Jax was standing in the door watching me fight back tears as held Abel's stuffed animal tightly against my chest. By the time I did notice him, he was already walking towards me. Kneeling down before me he slowly and gently pried the stuffed animal from my hands. Setting it down in a basket before he reached back up and took both of my hands and helped me up.

In silence he led me down the hall to his bedroom. We both sat on the edge of his bed in silence for a good three or four minutes before the tears just started to roll down my cheeks. Without word Jax wrapped both arms around and held me as I cried.

"Why did I leave Jax… Boston just… it just… caused more bad than good and I sacrificed everything by leaving." My voice was shaky and my words held so much weight. Looking up at Jax, the look on his face… I knew part of him was thinking the same thing I was. His face showed the pain he felt for me not even knows everything that had transpired in Boston to cause me to be in such a state. Jax reached up and slowly whipped the tears away as best he could. "If I would have st…st…stayed…"

"Shh… don't… alright… don't…" Jax's voice was shaky as well. He leaned his head against mine. We both knew what would have happened if I stayed, it was obvious by his words and the fact his tough exterior was slowly starting to crumble. "We'll make things right Becks I promise… I'll make things right…" Jax looked down at me as I started to look up at him.

Our eyes met, I reached out and ran my hand down the side of his face as I tried desperately to stop crying. I wanted to kiss him so bad, I want things to be the way I had pictured them in my head. I come home, we get together and we are a family.

The pained look on Jax's face spoke volumes. Leaning forward slightly I thought he was gonna kiss me, but then he pulled back as Abel started to cry in the next room. Jax let go of me and ran his hand through his hair. As he stood up he leaned over and kissed my tear stained cheek. "I'll be right back…" He mumbled softly before going to see why his son was crying.

As soon as he left the room, I feel back on the bed. My hands covering my face in shame. Why had I been so stupid to leave? Leave the one place in the world were I felt loved and wanted. I pushed Jax away back then… pushed a good and loving man away for no reason. The life I have now is my own doing and there is no one to blame for my current state but myself. There is so much I wish I could tell Jax, I wish I could explain to him what happened… but that would just push him away again. Now that I have him… even if it's nothing more him being my friend it's better than not having Jax at all.

+++ Jax's POV +++

By the time I got Abel to fall back asleep and I went back into my bedroom to check on Becks… she was passed out. Seeing her laying there in my bed, arms wrapped around my pillow like she was waiting for me to replace it. Slipping out of my jeans and tossing off my shirt I climbed into the bed and slowly pulled out the pillow from Becks arms and she rolled over. I laid there staring at Becks as she slept. She looked at peace since the first time since I picked her up at the bus stop.

Watching her breakdown like she did killed me. I want to know what happened in Boston. She is a different person than the happy girl that left six years ago. Reaching over a pushed a few strands off her face. "What happened Becka... if you would just tell me what happened and I swear who ever hurt you they'll pay. I'll…. Never let them hurt you again." I kissed her forehead and rolled over . Before I even had a chance fall asleep, Becks wrapped her arms around me pressing her cheek against my shoulder. I reached up and grabbed her hands and kissed it. "I love you Becka… always have."

By the time I got up the next day Becks was already up. Glancing at the clock it was ten to ten, Tara never let me sleep that late. I always ended up having to get up when she would leave for work to keep take care of Abel till Neeta got here. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes and rolling out of bed I started to make my way to the kitchen. Peeking in Abel's room as I walked past… he wasn't in his crib… Becka must have gotten up with him.

Even though Becka was in a state last night, something told me that as soon as Abel needed her she would snap out of whatever she was in and be there for him. Even with everything I know she must be going through I know in my heart she is still that kid I knew growing up. Standing in the door way of the kitchen watching Becka as balanced Abel on her hip as she searched through the cabinets for something.

"Ok little man… where does daddy put your formula…. " She paused and looked down at Abel who was just sticking his hand in his mouth sucking on it. "You have any idea? I really don't want to wake up daddy…" Seeing her talk to him like he was just this little person, not doing that assine baby talk made me smile.

I laughed a little which caught her attention. "The cabinet next to the sink…" I went over and opened the cabinet door and showing her and suddenly Becks turned five different shades of red. It made me laugh but also seeing her standing in the kitchen, having my boy in her arms looking so natural made my heart sink. Tara looks just as natural with Abel but there was this light in Becks eyes that Tara didn't have. This whole situation was really starting to make me question my whole relationship with Tara.

Yes, I love her… I have loved her since high school. She's an amazing Doctor and has been a great surrogate mother for my son. Then there is Becks, the one that everyone always thought would be perfect for me. Think of it, the children of two of the founding members of SAMCRO getting together and having a family. It would put on this perfect image of the how strong the Sons are and it's not like I don't care a lot about Becka. I do love her but I never thought I would have to be in such a position to have to pick between two amazing women.

Becks handed me Abel and went to go make me a cup of coffee and Abel a bottle. Looking over her shoulder at us as she finished up making the bottle and smiled. "I'm sorry I didn't wake you up… I thought you might enjoy getting a few extra hours of sleep…" She said softly as she handed me Abel's bottle and then set my coffee down on the table. "He's a good eater…" She added with a little smile before reaching out and pushing a few strands of Abel's baby fine hair off his forehead.

"No, thank you for letting me sleep. It was nice…" Becks smiled softly and leaned back in the chair looking fondly over at me and Abel. Thinking back to last night when I had her in my arms and I was thinking she was a completely broken woman, I thought she had lost that light in her eyes. The light that made Becks, uniquely Becks, but perhaps she had just needed a purpose.

I promised her that I would make things right but I'm still not sure of how I am gonna do that. I hope that reaching out to my mom will be the quickest and least painful way for Becks to fix her relationship with Clay. After feeding Abel and laying him down for his mid morning nap, I made the decision to go talk to my mom while Becks stayed watching Abel. I told Becks I had to run into the shop and I would be back as soon as I could. I showed her were everything she needed was and left her sitting in front of the tv with the remote in one hand and the baby monitor in the other.

Arriving at the shop I couldn't help but picture Becks, Tommy and I running around here when we were kids before Tommy died. I could almost hear us laughing and playing… those were the good times. I had to shake myself out of this funk that Becks coming home seemed to put me into. If my mom saw this melancholy look on my face she would think something was seriously wrong.

I slipped into the office where my mother sat doing paper work and shut and locked the door behind me. "Hey mom…" I said acting fairly normal as plopped down into the chair next to the desk. She smiles and patted my hand.

"How's my boys?" She asked while she went back to reading some invoice she was working on.

"Good… really good." I said simply leaning back in the chair and running my hands down the front of my jeans. How was I going to go about telling my mom that Becks was back… while my mother always had a soft spot for her it had been six years since she had heard anything from her that didn't come from me. Leaning forward and grabbed my mom's hand to get her attention. "I heard from Becks…" I said softly hoping that would be the perfect lead in.

"How's Miss Boston?" She asked not looking up from her paper work. Taking a deep breath I contemplated exactly how I was gonna answer that. At the moment… when I left her at the house she seemed content and almost happy. But last night… she was less than happy.

"Well when I left her at the house she seemed pretty happy… she misses you." That seemed to get my mother's attention.

"You mean… she's back in Charming." I nodded and my mother's head lowered. "Clay misses her… especially since Abel's birth. He just wants his daughter back. But God Jax…. She couldn't bother to call to let anyone know… what's wrong with her?"

I shrugged and leaned forward. "All she told me was something happened in Boston and it was really bad but she won't say anything more about. She's helping me with Abel and staying with me… but she really wants to be with Clay and you. She really just wants her family back." Watching the look on my mother face carefully I saw her eyes dart to an old family photo of all of us on her desk. I looked at it too. It was Becka's graduation, right before she left…her and I were hugging and Clay and mom were standing behind us. We looked like a happy normal family… I started to remember why Becks wanted that back so much.

We were happy… all of us. Becks in her own way brought a certain amount of joy to our lives. She was the daughter my mother had always longed for and my mom was the mother Becks so desperately longed for.

"I wanna see her Jax… talk to her… we have to figure out how to bring her and Clay back together. He loves her and I know she still has to love him but you know how they are. They are two stubborn bulls so we have to go at this slowly." I just nodded and my mother grabbed her purse. "I'll meet you at the house…"

Perhaps this wasn't gonna be as hard or as painful as I originally thought. If mom can get Clay on board the hardest part of bringing Becks back into the fold of the family and club will over. Then I just have to figure what the hell am I gonna do about me and Becks. But first things first… the girl needs her father back and I promised her things will get better and get back to the way the things used to be.

I have never failed my Becka before… I can't start now.


	3. Chapter three: Truth is Painful

Sons and Daughters

A/N: Again I want to thank every single person who has read this and an extra special thank you to everyone who took the time to write me a quick review. They mean a ton to me and help me get motivated in writing the next chapters. This chapter is gonna be completely from Becks POV mostly because I have the most fun writing her … but next chapter will be done from Jax's POV so you will get more of Jax's POV coming soon! But this chapter and the next chapter are gonna be shorter mostly because I'm trying to focus on relationship that Gemma and Becks have and relationship that Jax and Clay have… but… anyways … ENJOY!

Chapter Three: Truth is Painful

While Jax was off doing… whatever Jax does… I was having some nice quite time playing with Abel. I had him in little swing thing trying to get him to fall asleep while I managed to actually get some laundry done. It was funny I was back in Charming less than twenty-four hours and I'm already falling into the role that I think everyone had predicted me in since I was a little girl. The wife and mother… the domestic goddess. Though I highly doubt a true domestic goddess would be watching Family Guy and waiting for the baby to fall asleep so she could sneak out to backyard for a smoke… but then again who knows.

Before I had a chance actually go out and get that smoke in I heard the door open. "Hey Jax…" I said softly without even looking back to see if there was anyone else with him. The door was locked and Jax was the only one that I knew of (which ain't saying much) that had the key. So it wasn't like I was expecting my dad to walk through the door.

I heard a female laugh which made me jump and nearly fall off the couch. "Right church wrong pew hunny…" That voice, the voice that used to be the little voice of reason ringing my head telling me not to drink, not those pills… the voice of the only real mother I had ever known. Turning around and peeking over the couch I saw Gemma standing there, with her hands on her hips and smirk playing on her lips.

I jumped off the couch and ran over to her like I was ten years old again. "Gemma!" I squealed as I threw my arms around her. She gave me a good squeeze and kissed the top of my head before pushing me back a little to get a good look at me. I know I had changed a fair bit since she last saw me but I know I looked a lot better than I had just a week ago when I was trying to kick the pills before I came back. She patted my cheek lovingly and took my hand, like she so often did as a child, and walked me over to the couch.

Peering over my shoulder she smiled seeing Abel was fast asleep and looked rather peaceful his pacifier half in is mouth. " You look real good Becks… the hair is much more you than the last time I saw ya.." Gemma said with a smirk pushing a few strands of my dark hair off my cheek. I was trying to remember how I had my hair the last time she saw me… it must have been when I bleached it right after high school… in some vain attempt to be different I guess.

Chuckling softly I looked up at her, feeling ten years old again, "Thanks… I need to get it cut it's getting a little ragged looking." She nodded quietly and patted my knee.

"Yeah, we'll get that fixed don't worry and get you some new clothes too… these are just… hanging off you." I let Gemma say what she wanted, she always had something to say about my clothes and I knew in my heart that she just wanted me to always look my best. Like any mother would.

I quickly looked over the couch half expecting Jax to be walking in but no, the door was still shut. "Where's Jax…" Gemma placed a hand on my cheek and gently urged me to look back at her as she shook her head.

"Don't worry about where Jax is… he's fine and he'll be back before ya know it… but for now.. you and me are gonna catch up. I missed my little ragamuffin." Yeah… I always was her little ragamuffin, she had called me that since… um I think my whole life. My mom was never good at dressing me, even as baby. So when dad would bring me around the shop (mind you this is still while John was alive and my mom was still my dad's old lady) she would almost always have some new outfit laying out for me to be changed into so I didn't look like I lived on the street.

So thus began the questions… the ones I was expecting and some that I honestly was not expecting at all. I tried to answer the best I could without getting into too much detail. Not entirely because I was ashamed of what I had done, because some of things I did just to get my next fix was well more than enough to be ashamed of, but mostly because I didn't want to hurt Gemma. She has a good heart, she loves her family more than anything else. All she has ever done for me was love, protect and care for me better than my own mother ever could. When I think back on all the times I would just sit with her on the couch and cry over something my mom said to me on the phone or how she reminded me that there were other guys after I was dumped… I know that she loved me like her own.

As the questions started to inch closer to the real reason I have come back to Charming I was getting nervous. My hands started to shake and I began to chew on my bottom lip. I would answer her with increasing vagueness and I think that she knew that she was starting to inch towards something that was incredibly hurtful for either her or my father… or what the truth is… to everyone I love.

We both grew quite and Gemma put a protective yet comforting arm around my shoulders as she leaned her head against mine. "Now… my little Becka… with all the good you were doing in Boston… helping your mom get clean, going to school… what happened that sent you back home with your tail between your legs. You are a my strong girl, my little fighter… so what cracked the hard shell of yours." I looked up at Gemma and bit my bottom lip, chewing right on the spot where my lip ring used to rub against my lower lip.

"Well…. My mother relapsed… she ODed on Oxy a few months back I had a lot on my plate. I had one semester left and I would have my degree in photography and I already had an offer from this online magazine to have me do this photo story about symbolism used in Motorcycle Clubs across the country. This would have been a huge deal. But with planning the funeral all by myself, with no help from my mom's good for nothing boyfriend. I had this girl I knew from school give me some Xanax you know to help me with the anxiety…" Gemma said nothing, she just looked at me with the broken heart look on her face. She squeezed my shoulder as I continued to spill my guts out. Which felt… liberating. "The one time Xanax became one in the morning when I woke up, two at lunch… and so on. Soon I wasn't getting the same effect that I had. The panic, the pain… it just wouldn't go away. So I started finding other pills, I would do anything to feel numb from the world for just five minutes. It was like my life was just was getting up… doing what I had to just to get my pills for the day then being high for as long as I could. Finally I looked in the mirror… saw what I become and hated myself. I thought of committing suicide… almost called Jax about thirty different times just to hear his voice again before I did it." I was trying not to let my emotions weigh heavy in my voice but as I spoke that last sentence my voice cracked as my eyes began to water. "So I locked myself in my mom's house for four days… I was so incredibly sick. I thought I was gonna die on more than one occasion… and really I would have welcomed death. Coming off pills was the most painful experience of my life. But I did it… and before I could get cornered by my dealers about… lots of shit. I just packed everything I could in a few bags and got on the next bus heading west. I didn't have the nerve to even e-mail you or dad till I was more than half way here. Then… I just called Jax and begged him for his help…. That's everything."

Gemma didn't say a word…. She just wrapped her arms around me held me tightly. She kissed my cheek and ran her hand down the back of my hair. "I wish…. You would have just… called me…. And you would have never had to go through something that like." Her voice was soft and I could tell just by the tone in her voice that she was gonna cry any moment. But thank God that Abel bet both of us to the tears.

We both snapped out of overwhelming emotion and I picked Abel up from his swing and held him as Gemma started to smile at him and tickle his belly. As she was doing do she looked up at me for a moment with this smile that told me some how she understood what I went though and it reminds me that a mother's love is not conditional… no matter what you do, how much you screw your life up your mother will always love and be there to hold your hand while you get back on your feet.

Gemma is my mom… but how can I be in love with her son…. This is starting to become some bad Shakespearean comedy… drama… and maybe tragedy.

"_But, good my brother,__  
__Do not, as some ungracious pastors do,__  
__Show me the steep and thorny way to heaven,__  
__Whiles, like a puff' d and reckless libertine,__  
__Himself the primrose path of dalliance treads,__  
__And reaks not his own rede."_

_~ Ophelia – Hamlet Act 1, Scene 3 _


End file.
